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Today.. if possible, I shall interview Setsuna Kiitai. I have knocked upon his door. He answers and glares at me

PRESS: So, Setsuna. What is your full name?

SETSUNA: What the hell do you want?

PRESS: Um, I want to know your name. Watch your language.

SETSUNA: Is this going to be quick? I have work to do, and I don't have time to be answering pointless questions.

PRESS: No, it's short if you cooperate. Now, what is your full name?

SETSUNA: Setsuna Kiitai. (looks at watch and looks irritated)

PRESS: Thank you. How old are you, and where do you work?

SETSUNA: Twenty. That's classified information, I can't give that to you.

PRESS: Do you have to be so difficult?

SETSUNA: I SAID, that is classified. I don't have the authority to give you that information.

PRESS: Fine, fine. What are your hobbies and interests?

SETSUNA: Currently, trying to get YOU people to leave me alone!

PRESS: Answer the question, please.

SETSUNA: I believe I already did.

PRESS: Let's try this again. What are you hobbies and interests BESIDES making me leave?

SETSUNA: Working.

PRESS: Fine. We will let that one drop.

SETSUNA: I told you the truth. I don't HAVE any other hobbies or interests.

PRESS: All right, already!

SETSUNA: Good. Are you finished?

PRESS: No! Just cooperate! What sort of music and movies do you like?

SETSUNA: Huh? I don't know.

PRESS: This is getting really aggravating.

SETSUNA: You ask me questions that I do not know the answers to and then you get angry. Does this make sense to you?

PRESS: YOU SHOULD KNOW THESE ANSWERS!!

SETSUNA: Continue, please.

PRESS: All right, let's move onward. How many people are in your family,and where do they live?

SETSUNA: I don't care to discuss this.

PRESS: ANSWER THE QUESTION!!

SETSUNA: Well, if you must know, I don't know how many people are in my family. They're all dead. They are currently residing in the ground. My parents died when I was young. Now, is that all?

PRESS: NO! Oh, I'm very sorry to hear that. Do you have any adoptive parents?

SETSUNA: Yes.

PRESS: Oh, who are they?

SETSUNA: I will not discuss that.

PRESS: Fine. That works, I suppose.

SETSUNA: I don't feel like talking about them.

PRESS: I said that works, all right? Where were you born and raised?

SETSUNA: Don't know, don't care. Are you almost finished?

PRESS: Have you ever been to another country?

SETSUNA: I've been all over the world.

PRESS: On to more personal questions! How tall are you?

SETSUNA: (looking irritated again) I'm 5'1.

PRESS: Quite the shorty, huh?

SETSUNA: Did I ASK you for your opinion on my height? I don't believe I did. At least, I don't recall it.

PRESS: Look, get over it. Anyway, what is your favorite food?

SETSUNA: I don't eat.

PRESS: Are you anorexic?

SETSUNA: I'm far too busy to think about trivial things like that.

PRESS: Eating keeps you alive, you know!

SETSUNA: NO! Not that! I don't think about food. I have much more important things to think about. Anyway, what now?

PRESS: Are you serious? You don't eat?

SETSUNA: I eat! I just don't often THINK about it!

PRESS: Okay, then. I see that you have glasses. How bad is your eyesight?

SETSUNA: (thinks for a moment) About 20/2000.

PRESS: Wow. That IS bad. Are you close to anyone who lives here?

SETSUNA: No.

PRESS: Any reasons?

SETSUNA: I'm not interested in knowing people.

PRESS: Okay. Are you anti-social?

SETSUNA: Probably.

PRESS: Well, how much do you weigh? Being all short and stuff. . .

SETSUNA: (glares for moment) Let me think. I don't know of the top of my head. . . well. . . (thinks) Maybe about 130 or so.

PRESS: Really? That's quite a bit for how small you are.

SETSUNA: Are you TRYING to get a rise out of me?

PRESS: Well, maybe a little. You just look so CONSTIPATED when you're mad, and it's funny.

SETSUNA: Nice to know what YOU think about. What, do I LOOK like I really care?

PRESS: Well, no. But still, couldn't you TRY to be a little nicer? Everyone seems to either think you're totally insane or you're a jerk-off.

SETSUNA: Is there a point in telling me that?

PRESS: Anyway, back to your family-

SETSUNA: I SAID I will not talk about my family. They're dead, okay? That's all you need to know.

PRESS: Were you close to anyone in your family?

SETSUNA: Get out.

PRESS: What?

SETSUNA: You heard me! Now get out!

PRESS: Geez! Wait, wait!

SETSUNA: Do I have to get my rifle? Now LEAVE!

PRESS: Just ONE last question!

SETSUNA: (picks up his gun) Make it fast.

PRESS: Are you single?

SETSUNA: (messing with the trigger) I think you know that answer. Of course I am.

PRESS: Are you.. interested in a girlfriend?

SETSUNA: (smirks) No.

PRESS: Are you interested in a boyfriend?

SETSUNA: No. I don't like people. I don't want to spend any more time than I have to around them. Are you finished now?

PRESS: Yes, I believe so.

SETSUNA: Door's on your right. Back out. No sudden movements. Make it fast.

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